I understood that a mother once who refused to wait patiently in the reception during her child’s social skills team. She HAD to see the group and her child in the team setting. She insisted that she be the exclusion of the centers policy.
At the time, I felt she was being way too rough and not at all flexible. The facility was requesting her to allow them care for easing the social circle without the diversion of a parent in the room, but she refused to take their coverage. I felt she was being rude and pushy and controlling.
Years later, now that I think of that mother, and several others, I think she might haven’t only had control issues but anxiety also.
Why do I think that?
Because I now know it much better than I did.
However, I have never understood the sort of behaviour that that parent had displayed. In many years I have been to that center, she remains the sole parent I can recall who I felt behaved badly.
But, was she behaving that way due to anxiety? I believe it’s common for us special wants parents to have greater anxiety than parents of typical kids.
Why do I think so?
Parents of typical kids have a lot to deal with, don’t even get me wrong. I’m not ignoring their devotion or their civic responsibilities. They have to manage all the “typical” child-rearing things — hectic schedules, homework galore, way too many computer games, demands from families and friends, and, generally speaking, our fast-paced universe.
That’s great deal for typical parents to deal with. Now, toss in autism.
Which usually means that you’ve just added IEPs, IPPs, meetings with facilitators, exposing issues to your child’s support coordinator, speaking with the aides, planning for future services or choosing of present ones, going to autism-related functions, and probably a ton of things I haven’t mentioned.
Oh, and don’ forget coping with your child and their behavioural needs, behaviours, and struggles on a daily basis.
Now, all that may lead to parental anxiety.
How can parents of a special needs child get anxiety?
It’s a whole lot of work to raise a normal child — raising a special needs child is much tougher.
As I mentioned above, our kids have particular needs that have to be fulfilled so as to help them through this specific autism maze. Plus, you’re the parent, then you are their advocate, and you’re accountable for ALL of this.
All this adds up to strain to special needs parents. Lots of anxiety.
Plus, our kids have a inclination to have their own anxiety problems. They are trying to live in a noisy, confusing world which generates anxiety. They have their particular stress to handle.
And, their anxiety increases our anxiety. Stress and anxiety can exfoliate.
Returning to that child whose mother HAD to see his social group: Imagine if she had been like that all the time, in each circumstance? Does that child have his own nervousness owing to his parent’s behaviour?
I remember watching a couple arguments between this mother and members of this centre, and they happened right before her child.
This dilemma can be a back and forth — parent is stressed and it rubs off child, or child affects parent who’s busy coping with organizing their child’s services and programs which gets overpowering.
You live with your child, don’t one? The back and forth could be exhausting.
Next week, I’ll remain with my own nervousness discussion! Meanwhile…
To Locate Kimberly Kaplan:
www.kimberlykaplan.com
Go to Amazon.com to buy “2 Decades of Autism Blogs Featured on ModernMom.com” , www.smashwords.com or Amazon Kindle ebook “A Parents’ Guide to Early Autism Intervention”
Twitter: @tipsautismmom
source http://www.californiacoastparent.com/parents-of-kids-with-autism-coping-with-stress-modernmom/
No comments:
Post a Comment